Greetings and Resolutions

So the year is about to change. Yet again.

To an astronomer, it is another revolution of a planet around its star. Lets take an imaginary spaceship and fly a few million kilometers away from our planet waving it good bye for a while.

What do you see?

A speck of dust sized planet revolving around one of the zillions of stars in the universe since millions of years before the first calendar ever came to be known.

And here we are, a vegetation inhabiting the crust of this speck-of-dust of a planet since a few thousand years. Quite insignificant if we talk relative to the time Universe has been around. The whole human civilization and its creations weighing a millionth of a percent of total weight of this planet put together or lesser still! .On this speck-of-dust of a planet.

And here we are again, a civilization celebrating such an insignificant event in the cosmos!

Earth revolves around the sun every year. It passes every point around the sun exactly once every year. Every day occurs once every year. So why give this one evening all the credit? Every single day deserves to be celebrated. Every single day we should resolve to something new. Every single day we should greet everyone with the cheer and zeal that ordinarily lasts only one evening.

We resolve to do unique stuff to ourselves and the community every year. And we forget before the first week ends. Its an old story.

Lets change the storyline a bit this one time. Lets resolve to something new this year. Lets resolve to not to forget the resolutions. To recall all the previous forgotten self-promises and then realize them with rejuvenated commitment throughout the year. Lets remind this resolution to ourselves every day of the coming year as each day is a new year as the Earth crosses a new cosmic location each day. Lets set on a wholesome transformation of the self as we live on through 2010.

My resolutions? As I said, a successful year is the one when you come out wiser and abler than the previous one, I am relying on the destiny and its decision to carry me to newer situations, events and locations and enrich me with new experiences and knowledge, hoping to come out still abler and wiser in yet another year.

I will also continue loving those I love and missing those I miss. Continue to be a person that I am keen to meet every morning in the mirror. Continue to stop at light traffic signals when red. Continue sending those small messages to the people for whom, I know, they matter so much.

And if you believe in once a year celebrations, I wish to you the most enjoyable and ecstatic new year celebrations and may you be blessed with strength to carry out your resolutions with steel reinforced commitment and overflowing enthusiasm.

A normal day?

Actually yes. A pretty normal day, usual fun filled office with another Snax Meeting that ignited imaginative discussions ranging from how milk can be adulterated to how many times someone has been pick-pocketed in the capital city. Unusual for your office day? Okay, feel free to feel jealous. ;-)

An evening visit to a close friend happened to be a nice guide into my financial plans though as I already said that I have a master-plan now but when it is your own plan, an option is always available to alter its goals. So I am considering some alterations now. Lets see which puddle appears before me on this new way.

Except from a puppy accompanying me during my post-dinner walk, who's short few month's experience of the human civilization still held humans in his good books, there was no other special happening along the way. I wished I had a piece of bread to offer to the little wagtail creature and help fortify his belief in humans being good to stray dogs. The other lot of the adult night guards stayed away from me as they were more experienced. :)

By the way, a group of my colleagues is planning to go movieing tomorrow. Let us see if the plan materializes.

Good Night :)

The world is a stage

A and B both went into an unfortunate situation from where they cannot come out. B thinks she was put into such a situation by a mistake on part of C whereas it was not so. A never knew C and thinks that the situation was as ill luck would have been. B broke up her contacts with C and wont listen to her anymore.

A meets C, C rescues A from the situation. B still hates C while A is thankful to C.

C helped D, E, F as well but still regrets why B wont understand. All A, D, E, F are all praises for C but C won't acknowledge them because she was hurt by the incident with B and is apprehensive that same may happen again.


C lives a lonely life. B trusts no one anymore.


Who is at fault? No one. Still both are suffering.

What should they do?
Wait?
Forget?
Talk?

Who are you? A, B or C?

A character in the play of life.

Weekend # -1 to 2010

Last three-day-long weekend of the year has begun and I am not making any special efforts to make the better out of it. Even if it is Christmas for rest of the world, I have not been brought up to cheer around Christmas holidays. For me they hold as much significance to me as any other festive holiday. This one fell on a weekend, providing me additional luxury of living three successive days without office. Lest the reader concludes that I am sick of Office, let me make it clear that it is a good time to relax our spinal cords.

Guys at office had dropped in an offer for extra work on these days. Participation being on voluntary basis, I preferred staying back. However it was worth a couple of K Indian bucks. Missing them now :)

To me, all the weekends are the same and mostly consist of the same chores and errands focused around making the next week an easy effort. What a beautiful way to say that I have to do laundry, go grocery-ing and oversleep to achieve the alertness and watch pirated movies downloaded over the week. Yes sue me for that. :)

So I spent it just the way I said. Additionally, as I mentioned a few days ago that I am into reading, this time Chetan Bhagat's "Five point someone" was my weekend date. Once begun, it was hard to stop. So I was all through it in two sittings flat. The first one cannot be precisely called a "sitting" as I was reading it in my bed till quarter to 2 am! The crazy things that happen when three engineers are not thinking straight kept me going on. Quite entertaining.

That apart. These few days before the calender year's unit's place's digit moves to its successor is a good time to retrospect on how we did spend the previous 365 and also contemplate the next 365 yet to come.

That I am doing right now. Looking back, its all seems to be fine. Rather a successful year I would say. Had mostly positive news all the way till this last week. Coming up wiser and abler year after year is what I would term as a successful living and this one has not only allowed me to groom on one but many aspects of myself. Thanks (God).

Moving forward, I would not say that I have a plan for the next year. Past few ones have taught me that the word "plan" is a fiction. So I have a master-plan now :)

No kidding. That means I don't know exactly where I am to put the next foot. That, I decide based on the fact where the puddle is as I move along the way. But I have a fair outline of my destination where I should be heading. And mind you, this destination is not a state of mind that I can attain after making true a wish list that needs a bloated Debit Card to realize. This master-plan holds much more than that. Many an abstract achievements for which I have to look forward to some other powers than my own efforts. I hope you get the point.

Tomorrow, the regular Sunday as I mentioned :)

A thing of achievement is a joy for ever

Just 5 minutes before I was about to leave for the UT, a postman brought a cool news. That was really an odd time for a postman to appear at the door as it was almost at the time when twilight was giving way to the night. Must have been the nature's way of cheering me up for the day. And so I was done. Cheered. :)

What the postman has brought me is just a token of my knowledge that I have gained till now. And I am glad to have it on a certified piece of paper to tell the world. Sure I am elated to have it.

We share such small happy moments in life and try to double and triple the joy of the same. That sure does help and the moment of joy lasts longer and the fun is indeed doubled and tripled. At the same time, it is not random group of people that we wish to share the moments with. We share with the people we really care for. And with the people that we know they really care for us. The people that we know would be happy to know about the good change.

We also feel bad about not being able to share with those who are close to us. Because friends who are so far away that we cannot be in the moment as it is happening, face to face to share the moment, the essence of the moment goes missing. Only conversations over phone are not enough to express all the expressions of the joy and feel its presence at the same time. The presence of those few close ones is felt very badly on these moments.

Again as humans, we get used to small conveniences really soon. Not even 48 hours have gone by that I am (re) evaluating myself and weighing my old self against the new me-with this little virtue now added. I consider this a small achievement as compared to what I wish to achieve in life. But I am still trying to strain this small, newly gained virtue of mine and analyzing the possibilities of any gains from it. How selfish! But I am justified here for many reasons I know to be true.

The quest for more continues...
Good Night

The Recursive Vortex

I said I had an agenda for Sunday. That was true, but the it was mostly errands around the home and I was again free to do whatever I like the most. But when you are home and it is a weekend all you love to do is to pamper yourself with the comfort of aum sweet aum.

Did some landscaping, dressed the trees (there are two Neems and a Guava) for the coming months so that the new shoots flow in the correct direction without support or anchors.

But by the time night fell, I was not in a mood to leave for Chandigarh mainly because my body has been hinting of an upset lately. So decided to stay back.

Its not that my Mondays are not in the same league as Tom's so the reader should not assume that it has been a 'Tommy me' that had stayed back. What is needed is needed. We have to use the body for the whole week so due rest is required.

A surprise visit by my maternal grandfather on Monday happened to be the day's gift. The old man is very jovial even at this age with so many ailments that he is going through. That is the kind of spirit that keeps us carry on. If we tend to stop and grieve what the time will inevitably bring upon us, it will be all the more difficult to live on even a day.

On the contrary, humans are, after all, humans. They tend to waver about their feelings and the emotions take a sine wave route for most of us, staying in one phase and then diving into the other and then back up. The Recursive thoughts never seize as if they are glued to the focus of a Vortex. Always forcing us to oscillate in those few states of mind all along our lives. As we live on...

Think!

Ad hoc

At home town Jalandhar to see dad and cheer him up a little.
Good to have this old PC set up and running by my younger bro with configuration? Don't ask. but this seven years old keyboard has already had my fingers aching. So this post is probably going to be a short one :)

Travel started immediately after the EOD Friday and like all times these days, my current read has been my companion. Travels are the most rewarding experiences, be it from point A to point B in geographic senses or be they two points on the timeline of life. We always come across some moments that go by providing us with a small bit of wisdom to preserve. This one also not less fruitful.

On the seat on my front was a small happy family traveling from Simla to a destination beyond mine. Three children, a mostly quit boy, a teenage girl and another 12 year old girl of which I came to know when the ticket collector came to inquire the age.

What made the moment so beautiful was that the sheer innocence of the age. Without having concern of anyone watching and listening to their conversation, the teens were engaged in childish gossip all the way remarking at every eye-catching scene passing by on the road. Be it a fat man at a bus stop, or a tractor-trolly loaded with sugarcane. For natives it is usual and most adults who see a thing at first suppress the expression of surprise. But here, in these girls, this diplomacy had not yet developed. Singing to someone else's mobile phone, laughing aloud the band entertained quite a few passengers around them that seemed to share my taste.

I wish we all can be that innocent at all the times of our lives never having to care for any one Else when we had to do, say, or act like what the kid inside us urges us to.

Well, most of the Saturday went away treating myself to the warm sun and food made by Mom. I have a small agenda for Sunday.

Okay! Its the call for dinner!!

As I am using a snail-paced dial-up, I don't have much patience to use it till Monday when I have my own broadband and thankfully-the keyboard !

See ya then. Good night.

Not the usual office meeting

As a part of team building activities, our management has organized small group discussions aptly named "Snax meeting" as they happen to be accompanied by a small feast sponsored by a pretty harmless contribution from the participants themselves.

The usual discussions are fun filled but the last one a day before went on a bit spiritual note when of the participants asked to put forth our views about the past life regression.

The conclusions drawn out were very thoughtful.

My observation was that we all are living and in due course we get to gather some good and bad experiences. We easily assume credit for the good ones but we need an anchor for the the bad experiences or for the pain that we endured. Hence, different people assume different mediums to dump their resentment or to find solace based on some belief.

Past life regression seems to be one such belief. Where we can attribute all the happenings around us to our past life. No one has seen or has an account of what he/she had done in the past. This opens a channel to attribute our failures to our deeds of the past. Also the success of, in our opinion, undeserving people in case we are one of the envious types.

Personally, I opined that the we are being guided by not the past life but a set of random probabilistic functions in play in the universe that put us in one situation or the other. These random events make some of us more privileged in one trait or the other. On the same notes, I have tried to make a point here as well.

Still much more to learn from the seniors. But rarely you get an opportunity for such discussions in the professional Bhaag Daud!

Chao!

Weekend # Third from the last de 2009

It has been long time, as far as my memory is concerned, since I last logged on to this blog and now as I sit recalling what were the last three days like, some of it is definitely gonna miss.

The weekend was not a happy one as my father and my maternal grandfather, both were unwell. Most of the weekend was spent in my father's nursing during the day while my sister painstakingly took care of him at night. Saturday, I went off to see my grandfather. The good thing is that both are now doing fine.

In a bid to keep my house of the devil busy and occupied, so that no physician prescribes me Alprazolam anymore, I have now started reading while idle. So while traveling earlier, I used to ponder about the goods and the bads that have and may happen in my life, I now am conversing with the most learned men of the world through their thoughtful writings in form of one or the other book. The three and a half hours pass away in a fraction of a moment now! leaving no time at my mind's disposal to play with my hormones. I am sure going to throw in some technical and fictional material also sooner. If the habit stays, sure its gonna help a lot.

Being at my maternal village also brought about a sense of conservative living and how the resources can be best utilized. Even the traditional stove was using fallen leaves, collected over time from the trees in the compound, as a fuel. Saving wood-the principal fuel.

Walking around the place keeps most people healthy and no need of disinfectants when the floor is mud itself. That also seems to reinforce immunity in rural population by providing a constant dose of stimuli to the immune system and keeping the body's defense ready for a major assault!

Another striking thing was the sense of cleanliness and order that was ambient everywhere. From the firewood storage area to the shelves that were covered with glossy sheets from an old magazine and had many tiny containers, meticulously arranged on top of the paper sheets, in the order of frequency of use for ease of fetching them. Even though there was no sleek furniture or contoured interiors. Still everything seemed to be residing at its own designated place as if they have been there from centuries, but as clean and fresh as if someone has just placed them there. These observations are what reflect the virtue of the lady of the home. However humble be her education, she must has been taught the common sense of a homemaker by her elders during her upbringing.

The mild scent of fresh roses in the kitchen garden was intoxicating.
100% organically cultivated vegetables from the kitchen garden, free of pesticides that all of us more civilized generation are consuming everyday, are used to make some of the share of daily meals. The same also spare us from the steroid accelerated vegetable cultivation in practice in farms supplying veggies to the cities.

Someone sure has got all the time and attention for maintaining the kitchen garden and maintain those shelves apart from other chores. That be my grandmother's daughter in law.

A sense of emergency and rush that keeps on haunting us in the cities is absent in the countryside. While this brings in a sense of relief, after some time the same absence makes you feel as if you are missing on something important. As if we are living a lesser life every moment while not in that busy part of the world. That feeling was not able to set in this time as I had to leave early to see to my father at home for a CT. I left for home again with others that were there to see my grandfather.

As I mentioned that now I always have a read in my hand while traveling (and also when idle at home), my current one My experiments with truth by Mahatma Gandhi sure got some glares both while the up and down journeys. Some frowned. Some grinned. Some appreciated. Some ignored. Some went a step further and asked my reasons behind the choice. To which I replied that it is an effort to understand both the extremist (I have read Shaheed Sukhdev's Biography by his brother) and the non-violent approaches to the independence struggle. This thought had some role in convincing me to purchase Mahatma's autobiography. And if I could not make out much of the non-violence out of the book, I will have a set of real experiences of an accomplished person of the millennium to read about, something that is sure promising of interest, was my other thought.

Ending this one abruptly here!
Good Night :-)

Zombie dayz

Fell on the bed as soon as I returned from the office. Woke up at 11 PM, had dinner and fell asleep again after a while of routine activities.

That was yesterday.

Found the world turning around and head about to explode today morning. Alarm had been trying its best for the last three quarters of an hour. Thought that it would be best to seek some help to get my battery recharged.

The doc suggested some alprazolam for 5 days. What the heck! I am not going to have this. I'm not. Threw the strip away and went to the office.

Work leads to solace and sanity.

Although still a bit confused about whats going on around me. (and inside me is also rumbling sometimes:-) ) but still in a position to live out the next few days without much efforts. Till Friday arrives to offer me a free recharge.

(Disclaimer: There's more than what has been just said.)

Good Night...Rumble!!..excuse me ;-)

A thing of patriotism?

Day was work as usual. Monday's rush as usual. Office as usual. Returning to home..hold on, not as usual!

A moment that lasted only 7-8 seconds made the whole day day count!

We all await many minutes on the way on traffic lights but as I mentioned here, the last few seconds at a traffic stop are something that are hard to be patient for most of us...just independent, still developing, citizens.

And this traffic light on the way to Information Technology Park is like a dog tied outside a post-office. Who has to look up and make a meekly sound to get anyone's attention; if at all. :-)

But this one time when I approached it a few commuters were already lined up waiting for the last 10 seconds.

8...

7...

6...

The traffic clock counting down to the Green one. By this time few would already be halfway down the crossing, in the road, hindered only by the oncoming traffic to jump the Red one.

But no one was moving! Even when all the traffic from the other side has already crossed. Such patience? Could be a coincidence.

5...

4...

3...

By this time they would start honking. Urging the ones at the front-line to forgo the constitution that says, "Red means stop" and just go! But today, here, it was silence broken only by humming of a car engine and rhythmic thumps of an auto-rickshaw a bit farther away.

2...

Still no one's moving, its getting me now. No oncoming traffic, no cops in view, still no honking, no one's creeping forward!! Amazing example of discipline.

1...

Green!!!

A Skoda, an Activa, an Auto, few bikes including mine moved forward and then off to their respective routes. Silently engines revving faster, gears shifting.

If I draw a correct analogy, the last 5 seconds were akin to a patriotic group of citizens standing for a national anthem. What other than respect for law was holding all of us there?

All of know that obeying law is prime evidence of the fact that one respects the nation that we live in. That we call ours, that we defend in online discussions and that we enjoy the freedom of. Only difference is that now we recognize the acceptance that was dormant inside us. This, I would say is a fundamental change happening. The more we obey law, the more we would like it to be acted upon. This would ultimately lead all corruption and all corrupt to be brought to justice.

Small gestures like obeying Red light, leaving off plastic bags willingly, asking for invoice and paying sale tax are indicators of the change that will make us a world power.

I think I witnessed a small moment of that big change today.

Think!
Good Night

"Religious Fuss Express": From Jalandhar to Ludhiana:

Picked up the newspaper this morning to be greeted with the gloomy news of communal tension in the industrial hub of Punjab. Immediately I remembered how many of my close ones were stuck in the riots in Jalandhar few months back.

Again, agenda was same, the hot favorite: Religion.

Religion seems to be the favorite topic of us Indians to create a fuss upon. We seek religious excuses to get together, to rejoice and most of all to create a fuss the examples of which we have witnessed in the recent times as well as the past(1947, 1984, Godhra, Babri Masjid etc).

Talking of the Sikh community, I wonder what has made our (Sikhs') faith in their faith so vulnerable so that we have to defend it with veined swords every now and then?

An X, Y, Z person makes some remarks and we get together to teach a lesson forgetting completely the lessons that our Sikh gurus have taught us since Guru Nanak Dev ji.

How can we forget that Guru Nanak Dev Ji blessed the people who threw stones at them leaving his accompanists, Bala and Mardana, wondering?

Can we forget how when Sri Guru Amar Dass Ji responsed when he was kicked off his seating position by a person in front of everyone claiming his Gurgaddi? He had asked him if he was hurt by his old and seasoned bones.

How he responded to the person who made fun of his long saintly beard? By saying that it is to wipe the feet of holy people like yours.

Why Guru Ram Dass ji had doors on all the sides of the Golden Temple? So that people of all the religions may be welcome to the holy place. So that Sikhism may coexist with every other religion through mutual respect for each other.

Did the Sikhs at that time created such a scene as yesterday when Guru Arjun Dev ji was punished with hot Tava and red-hot sand from above for no offense of his?

Does anyone remember that the 5 beloveds from the 5 different Hindu casts?

Every single day in the millions of Gurdwaras and homes, the holy Ardaas is recited. An excerpt:

"Sikhaan da man neevaan matt uchhi, mat pat da raakha aap Waheguru" which means "
Bless your sikhs with a humble mind and high moral thought. You yourself protect their morality and respect

The recent acts do not reflect anything of that sort. Has the Guru stopped bestowing morality and humility on his Sikhs?

What if a saint says a few words against your religion? Someone who does not knows about a principle will either try to learn about it or discard it based on his own reasoning and sense of understanding. I think we are here to brace the core teachings of all the religions and not judge them on the basis of someone Else's remarks.

What if someone dresses like Dashamesh Pita, Guru Gobind Singh ji? Did he become one? How are they sure Guru Ji looked or dressed that way? Do we have any painting of that era on record? I am not sure that how the paintings made by an artist come to be known as immortal images of the Gurus. By following those images we are ourselves insulting them as they are definitely imagination of someone and not a real image of the Gurus. The real image that Guru ji would like us to follow are the teachings enlisted in the Granth.

It is clearly inscribed in Sukhmani Sahib that anyone denouncing a saint will be put to shame and punished by the Akal Purakh himself.

So if Ahutosh Maharaj has said something that has insulted any of the Sikh faiths, he has already registered himself for the punishment of theAkal Purakh. So has the Dera saint who dressed up as Guru Sahib.

Why we all have to pick up swords in the broad daylight and instill terror and rage for the people in the communities from other faiths and establish ourselves as a fragile and raging community rather than humble and sturdy one.

Does these puny acts of these persons hold the strength to uproot Sikh faith? I would laugh if someone says yes to that. And if they do, I think we do not need to call ourselves Sikhs anymore. With such a fragile faith, we are better off as lunatics who have no sense of civilization altogether.

Burning property of fellow Indians, shouting against other faiths wont even get anyone to listen to our genuine issues. These situations are best handled through peaceful display of remorse. Ahutosh Maharaj's words must be on record. There is law, take them to court. Instead, now we are the ones to testify our acts of disrupting public life, insulting another faith and spoiling property. While they hold the distinction of being oppressed by Sikh faith.

So great is the contribution of the various Sikh religious heads that encouraged all this. Rather than asking the fellow sikhs to stay calm and practice humility and patience that the Gurus have been teaching us all the way. They were silently watching the foolish people face the bullet under a false impression that they were protecting the faith.

Who stands accountable for Darshan Singh who died on the spot? Will these religions leaders who sat in comfort while random people were being beaten by the police sticks?

But I know there are millions of people in all the communities that know that the core of all the religious beliefs is the same. That all have both stemmed from the same divine halo. That we all are children of same GOD. That insulting one of us is like insulting ourselves only.

It is the undying faith of these people that is holding the country and the world together since the times of Ramayana and Mahabharata.

May Peace prevail.
Good Night.

Forgotten Instinct

Dear Instinct,
You are the one that I was talking to here. I promised to pay you some attention yesterday but you know I was too busy figuring out my schedules that I could not offer you the fair share of attention that you so rightfully deserve.

Apologies for the same. I hope you understand that every one of my efforts is directs by you so if I am not able to listen to you for a day, does not mean that my commitment towards you is growing any weaker.

Today is Friday and I hope that I have been up to your expectations today. I will not mention "how" again as you were already there pushing me harder and harder all the time. Thanks for this encouragement.

Regarding our pending discussion, I will sure find time for the same. For now, I have to go to sleep so that I my see you happy yet again. Please stay like this always.

Good Night.

Yours,
Akashdeep

Tue Wed Thu

That's all that a calender knows about half of my week. For the calender, they are merely three days of a week that it has been repeating ever since time came into existence. Not a big deal.

For me they were anything but fair. Overriding my instinct to be at the office to help out the team with extra workload (a rare one though) and running off the ISBT only to add to my knowledge the fact that I was about to be grounded for 5 hours in a PRTC bus was enough help to make me hungry by anticipation well ahead of my normal schedule!

Enough hungry, pretty much tired and drowsy from the routine onset of sleep, it was still harder to look cheerful. I was entering a house full of colorful guests and faces that just had dinner after a bout of dance. Already 1:30, we were to get up at 7 to prepare for the marriage ceremony. I hope I was at least able to look sober in the morning and not beaten up blue by fatigue of the previous night.

The surroundings at a function cheer you up and fill you with a joy to be a part of the celebration. I was no exception. The day went into being a part of-and witnessing various rituals. I had a headache by then! What the heck! How do I get back to office tomorrow? Preemted the ceremonies only to learn that the bus will be available only after 7:30 PM. Another ordeal in the bus was awaiting me!

A grand marriage ceremony though it was. All marriage functions end with everyone seeing the bride off to the groom's family with tear-soaked eyes. No one can escape the grief and sorrow that that one moment instills into the air. Everyone is aware that the lady in red is going off for a new step in her life and that many festivals and happy moments are about to follow but the grey haired fairies won't stop chanting those folk lores repeating them over and over again till there are sobs to be heard from all around. The moment sort of reconnects everyone. To each other. To their pasts and some to their futures.

Back to the bus, this one was generous enough to allow passengers have a breath of fresh air. However, it was ignorant enough too to know that it was December already! Well, life is like that sometimes...

Another great news was that I did not had the keys to the room! Reaching the room at 12:30 AM, how I managed to get the main door opened and enter my bedroom will remain a secret for ever :-)

I was not in a position to wish anyone good night...
Yawwwnnnn....
Z
Z
z
z
!

Arghh!!

Is it the changing weather ?
or is it some short circuit in my cranial circuitry?
or a screwed up meal?
or some words from someone that did not digested well?

Why is it that the self is not feeling 100% this week?

Agreed that there are a few days in a year that end up in zero accomplishment but then again we don't have to just survive on this planet like zillions of other organisms are!

To make a difference, you have to do something new each day, learn something new each day, life is only about couple of dozen K days after all. Many of them are already exhausted.

In such a situation, as I am feeling this week, when you are left with only enough mental energy to live a routine day, then it is your that instinct that causes you to surge ahead every moment that feels hurt and ignored.

You yearn to add more hours to your day, more minutes to your hours and more seconds to your minutes but something is just not working out!
Cant say what it is at the moment. Work is great because it is the routine...but it is not about routine at all. What about that instinct that keeps on poking me to add something to my mental and physical frame each day?

"Dear instinct, I will get back to you soon, only allow me to think over it for a while, it may take an hour two of introspection. But, I am not abandoning you without fulfilling your every desire till I have my senses sound enough to understand what you have to say. You have brought me here, I will always honor your call... "

I will find time for this exercise on the way to a function that I have to attend on Wednesday. A marriage party of one of my close cousins. All packed and all set.

Pack,
Set,
Go.....

Good night :)

'Mix-veg-palao' week!

Not my pet dinner this week, its the week itself this time! This is how this one has appeared before me.

Like a palao, That contains various tastes in every morsel, the week has been a mix of various moods and emotions.

Like the palao, not every morsel is a delicacy to relish, but we have to sometimes bear it when a pepper-pea lands between the molars and unleashes the bitter flavor that makes itself home on a part of your tongue for a while. The week also presented some not-very-pleasant insights into my own self that I was not-very-pleased to know about. At least, its good to know that there is something bad about you so that you can correct the same. Ready, Steady...Correct!

Like a sweet young pea from our palao that spreads its juicy sweetness and lasts for a while, some moments with few good people turned out to be as sweet.

Like the age old flavor (of our mix veg palao) that we have been enjoying till we first fell in love with its taste, this week brought in some good memories and feelings related to those back to life. A few heart warming thoughts that I never knew existed inside me and the solace of connecting with some close-to-heart friends at a still deeper level. That just acted like raita (that's a funny metaphor I know :-) )

What else? Like a satisfying meal, the week is surely directed to end in a high note :-)
Good Night

End of the World!

Thursday.

Ended the day with end of the world!

Yes, I am talking of 2012. The sci fantasy based on the speculation that cosmic (not cosmetic you dumbo! ;) ) situation leads to instability of earth crust and ultimately tends to annihilation of planet's life forms except a few lucky ones. And a few rich ones too. The producers are capitalizing upon curiosity of human race to see how it is going to end.

It was a good show indeed. The graphics of the scale that at least I have never seen in a movie. Amazing attention to detail. The only thing it was short was a 3D show. And only distraction was a bunch of guys who came to see the special effects only and did not understood a single dialogue. They preferred gossiping when nothing significant (for them) was happening. :)

Apart from some probability calculations that did not quite fit in for me and one of my seniors who accompanied us to the show, it is worth it. How can a family escape hundreds of falling buildings and meteors of the size of a house falling meters away? Not even a splinter hitting them all the way!

Anyhow it is fiction and that's how it has to be: Not real.

The world does not end that abruptly for all the humanity put together. Geological changes are slow, mountains and seas change shape but over a period of thousands of years, research has shown. Unless it is a meteor strike; or a world war; or an alien attack!

"The world does end that abruptly for all the humanity put together"

For individuals it does. For some, it ends in a flash!

World ends when someone close to you abandons you. World ends for an athlete injured beyond healing. World ends for a businessman in a single misplaced deal. World ends for a top scorer who falls short by quarter of a percent.

World ends when our faith system fails us. And we are utterly helpless, unable to connect the failure it to any possible logical explanation. Helpless we feel and there, we see a dead end. It's the end of our world.

That was a gloomy observation. Don't know where from it popped up in my head. Lets move on. Thats the best remedy for such endings.

Take care.

Bad start

A drowsy head, blocked nose and an upset stomach is not the best way to start a week!! But that is what I discovered myself with when I woke up this Monday. Have traveled from home the last night which has taken its toll on my health along with the changing season to which I am still adjusting. Most of the part of Adjusting meant gathering and buying warm clothes :)

Moreover when you know that you have lots of stuff to do at the office, a partially healthy body is the last thing that you want to carry to the office. Especially when you have a rep to protect ;)

you don't want to look drowsy and lazy all the time. And such a work-day won't be a very productive one. So taking the advantage of facility provided by the company to cater to such Mondays, it seemed the best idea to relax at home and recollect my energy and attentiveness.

However, when you are all alone and there is lot to think about, we usually let unpleasant things crop up more frequently in the Devil's Home. The day went by fighting the devils and engaging in some reading stuff.

The next two days (that includes today) went mathing the pace with missed work and fortunately that it is pretty much on track owing to some solution we figured out at the last moment. Akin to a six in the last ball of the last over :)
Good Night.

Standing waves

Another weekend.

Went home with all my whites so that I can enjoy the luxury of our washing machine. Home is all the same with same routine going on when you are not there and you just fit in. Everything at its own unique place as decided by the homemaker. The sugar jar, the hand towel, the ear buds-nothing leaves their place and you can literally move about blindfolded and know what lies where!

Most of the Saturday went into traveling because the Ropar bridge was closed for repairs (again!) and the bus had to do a 1.5 hr detour to land me at my home town. The first thing (which was by no means first after relaxing and chatting with mom and having some evening snacks) I did was to take care of the greatest pain that I would face it at my room here: the whites!

So off I went with my laundryman hat...

Machine wash tip #1: Rinse them before adding them to the detergent solution to get rid of the dirt that can be just dissolved in water (and sweat too). So that detergent does not have to act on something that can be removed by plain water.

As the rinsed whites were being spin dried for the next step, I noticed a curious wave pattern forming in the wash tub by the vibrations of the spin drum. Still, standing waves, I was able to relate to the ones that read about in my high school-Fundamentals of Physics (David Halliday, Robert Resnick and Jearl Walker).

Now the geeky stuff began.

I stared at the beautiful pattern etched on the water surface for a while, admiring both the moment and the physics behind it. My concentration broke as the pattern started moving and changing its form-started diminishing. I wondered which variable has changed? Spin drum is vibrating at the same frequency (not slowing down), I am not touching the machine, voltage is not fluctuating.

Hell!! The pattern changed due to falling water level in the tub, reducing its surface area as it went down.

I left the wash tub's drain open! Half of my dear detergent solution went down the drain :(

"Enough of physics Mr. Scientist! After wasting detergent enough to wash one load of clothes, start over now", I said to myself.

Indra's Monday

As compared to the weekend, which wound up with me watching the beautiful classic story of two teenagers' unfathomable affection towards each other forcing their egoistic parents to give in - I am talking about the Raj Kapoor classic-"Bobby", The week did not took off on as favorable note with Inradev waking me up to a overcast sky that ended into a rainy Monday morning just when I was about to leave for the office.
Had to drop my parents at the interstate terminus as well and then leave to the office at usual time. But plans seldom realize the way they are conceived. As a consequence of the rain, had to delay the office by one hour. One of the things that I don't really appreciate doing (neither do they).
Rest of the days are work as usual with an exception of changing weather taking a toll on my appetite. So have to go an extra mile to meet my own minimums. It hurts when you are not able to meet your expectations from your own self. Especially when you put the bar pretty high for your self.
Solution is simple, let go some extra effort you are making somewhere and you are recharged for stuff that matter more somewhere else. Some introspection & reorganization and all fits back in.
So here I am. Back in the pilot seat. Taking off for yet another day in 8 hrs hence!
Good Night.

Home improvement weekend

Not exactly home improvement. But this time I decided to put on my mechanic's hat and fix some things that have been bothering me since last few weeks.

First to be fixed was my PC that had no covers on following the hard disk catastrophe that I mentioned earlier. Since then I could not put it all together. So, I started on the mission #1. unplugged the Idiot Box Junior (you know the senior one :-) ) There were no major surprises except one. The screws holding the PCB that houses front USB and headphone jacks were no longer useful! Repetitive strain had dislodged them and the threading was no longer able to hold on.

Time to devise a solution...
I had to use a piece of used leather belt to hold the thing in place and reinforce the threading with a glue so that it holds. But the process was not straight forward and ended with me reading the instruction manual to fix the minute power cables that I had to remove and that powered various LEDs here n there.

Then came the blender!
It is a historic device that would qualify for an antique any moment now! Probably as old as me. Uh oh! Do not take that analogy very seriously...! :)

The thing has been pissing me each time I used it by dripping a stream of content from the Jug, down into the motor and the kitchen shelve. So today was the day to teach it a lesson. But I was careful enough to be gentle with it because it has served my parents for so long and now me. I sometimes wonder how these things last so long. The Germans definitely go an extra mile on designing equipment so that they outlast many other brands of their time. Unlike most Indian manufacturers were it is a bliss if any equipment survives the warranty period safely.

The fault is not in the design, the fault is in the customers. We pay thrice the amount for a foreign product without a slightest hint of hesitation but we never would for a similar product by a local manufacturer. What if the local guy gets the liberty of spending thrice the amount (or twice) on additional quality materials and afford to reject some (slightly) faulty parts that otherwise make into the assembly line, we would be at par with anyone around. We have been. In ancient times.

That was a bit sidetrack. Coming to the weekend mission#2, I carefully unscrewed the most accessible screws while taking care not to screw something up! :)

I was familiar with the kind of stuff that I found inside. Windings, Coils, Limit Switch, Wire Clamping, Bushes, Armature, Stator etc. What I saw in there hinted me that many generations of various kitchen bugs have been taking refuge in my loving blender. I had to destroy those deserted dwellings and clean all the residues from various liquids. The task was difficult but the result was satisfying.

More unscrewing, unfastening and then cleaning, reassembling, looking for any left over, curious looking parts. There were none which was a good sign :)

There we were, a working blender as good looking as new!

Wondering why I posted this activity here?
Many reasons.
First being to tell the world that my dad's experience is not all wasted by me going into IT.
Secondly, Such a task done at home be it fixing a broken, blender, installing a new bedside lamp, greasing your bike's chain, fixing a leaking tap etc etc can be accomplished by using a mini arsenal of tools and to the greatest level of satisfaction. You don't have to run to a plumber, electrician, mechanic, mason for every nitty-gritty that keeps falling off in a house where people live. Also, it is a good stress buster as well, at least for me. (Stop wondering!!)

Thirdly, I hope some pretty lady might stumble on this page and feel envious of an in-house mechanic that my wife will get for free ;-).

But I warn you, if you don't know exactly what you are doing, do it discreetly so that you have a lifeline of running off to the mechanic should anything not go as you planned. Else, you will have a nagging wife, mom, or sister who will never fail to make you realize one 'herogiri' of yours that failed. If you succeeded! then definitely you are the one who just proved it! :-)

Finally, I love tweaking things since I was a kid. That had made me learn to fix them more than have my dad fix them later :-).

Give a try to something sometimes, I can advise ;-)
Good night.

Where did the week went?

Starting the week with Tuesday, I suddenly realized and also thanked god as the ritual goes :) that it was Friday!

The work week was work as usual. New things to think, innovate, implement and then cherish them! .

When you know that the piece of code that you did in one of your company's products is going to be executed in a high end, carefully managed, transaction processing system somewhere down the time line, it becomes something worth cherishing and being proud of.

Like some engineer might be proud of tightening a bolt on Chandrayaan. Or a chef to have garnished the salad to be served to Abdul Kamal (or whichever personality you adore the most). Or a pit-hand to have refueled Schumacher's ride for the third consecutive win. Or someone who packed a parachute for a pilot who escaped much pain (are we talking about error handling here? ;) )

If we try to follow the tracks of a piece of code that I just mentioned, it performs very trivial tasks at the production machines where it is made to execute. One if-then-else statement is eventually going to change the state of one of the millions of flop-flops in a microprocessor on some server thousands of miles away. But it is the nebulous mess of crisscrossing microscopic circuits and a web of wiring connecting all those servers and a web of networks connecting every computer in the world, each one containing these millions of microscopic circuits, that cause this virtually insignificant change to emerge as a meaningful event for one of the users of one of our customers.

Technology is overwhelming. And getting harder to imagine day by day!

Fridays are not easy to end well most of the time, I was preparing for a ride up and down from Ambala to see one of my siblings off while I had to conclude something of importance to the coming week at work.

The ride was okay. Got to visit the railway station maybe after many years!

What I saw was different from what others might who commute daily.

There was a subset of whole of our national diversity en-crowded at one place. All, rich, poor, not so poor, very poor and beggars. North, South, East, West India within 200 meters of you. You can hear three different languages being spoken for every 100 feet walk down the platforms. All hurrying or waiting for something.

My sister remarked, "This is the real India, rich and poor in exactly the same proportion as in statistics, around 10%". And I just realized that how many of us (talking of all Indians) can get to see the kind of life we (talking of middle class and up) live! The one who borrowed my pen to take down a number that he just memorized from some list, might not even know that it was a Parker Special Edition that he was using. Let alone how many of them would know what Levi or John Players are. Or why richer kids are taking about some animal called 'Ninja' these days.

I wonder, if it was possible to make them realize need of the hour and make them understand and follow the decisions and advises that great thinkers are yelling out aloud on the national and international forums. The need for cutting greenhouse gas production, the need for reducing water consumption, the need of disposing off plastic properly, the need to vote, the need of sanitizing hands after every wash!

I could not think of a way to reach their souls because they all were too busy. Looking for something, heading for something, not able to pay attention to anything other than what they had on their mind at the moment. Maybe it was the place, maybe it was their nature. I don't know.

We all probably are a very small subset of privileged population that get public school education, city life, know and discuss brands, watch Dolby DTSes, get the hair rebound, have a credit card and so on. सावन के जन्मे सब के सब!

The ride back was rather chilly.

Weekend is about to begin and a mental list of tasks is already in place. Lets see what it mutates into by the end of...well weekend!

Good Night.

2 and 3 Nov 09

Well, beginning with a lazy Tom's Tuesday, the day was well filled up with lots of activities at the workplace. The next few weeks are going to be technically challenging and the challenges are on our radars already. As they say: work will teach you how to do it.

Dear work, I am at your service!

Due to a rapid expansion this year, our company is recruiting many engineers. My seniors view me as a useful resource for conducting interviews and appreciate my views on the candidates. This is a great appreciation in itself because I am still far less skilled than my senior colleagues are at judging people in a 15-20 minute discussion. In the process getting a lot to learn during those on-and-off tips by my respected seniors slash mentors slash guides slash gurus.

What is particularly interesting is that you are trying to read the mind of a person and infer something about him that he/she does not wants you to know about. And this has to be achieved as much discretely as possible in that short sprint of a discussion. It is here that I, up to some extent, am able to understand why some people have to struggle more to get into a dream job than some others. I am about to tell the reason now.

Because they simply are not fit for it! Seems strange? It is not as much as it seems to be.

The fact is that however hard one tries to hide, pretension of a fallacy can never be concealed. It always comes across. Not as a concrete statement, a gesture, or a number. But as a feeling in the guts of the persons facing you at the moment. Somehow, there seems to be something like a sixth sense that is ambient in the interview room at that moment. Result, I think is favorable to both. A person at a wrong place wont do good to any of the two, himself or the place.

(First) Moral of the story, don't pretend.

That apart, this principle applies in our lives as well. we, sometimes, just cannot get to trust some people no matter what they promise. This is the same gut feeling at work on your side.

So lets be honest to all as this is going to help both, the person, that's us as well as the place where we belong, this world!
Good Night

Last long weekend of 2009 ended

Thanks to a mega-nap this afternoon that I am able to post this at this time of the day (or night!).

End of a weekend is not a sad news for me as new challenges await at work in the forthcoming weeks. Yet another session of planning, few weeks of work and another weekend of celebrating accomplishment. That is Agile methodology!

Sunday was well utilized with a few hours long meeting with a close friend and then reinstalling the system. This project stretched a bit far too long because of the greatest govt that Punjab has ever been gifted. Multiple power cuts had blown away my hard drive which I had to replace at an expense of amount that hurt quite a lot give the fact that I purchased one only 4-5 months ago. On top of that, the same power cuts have been restricting me from bringing the machine back to life again.

Taking example from the way we work at the office, I mean planning and stuff, I wonder if Badal Dynasty has a plan! Unannounced power cuts all the year round, stupid (and funny) power saving plans (we all know our govt employee friends and neighbors leaving for work at 7:00 AM!), No numbers on future up-gradation plans, refusal of nuclear power plant by the center Govt and so on... Where are they leading Punjab? Into the Night Lamp and Sleep-by-Sunset era?

Now the system is up and running (thank god) and after spending the day treating myself. I have to say that I enjoyed laundry to support my previous statement here :). Denying none of these, it is a good feeling having done something yourself to your own satisfaction. (perfection is a curse sometimes)

The weekend-bonus (Monday off) ended with a visit to Nahda Sahib.

I never planned it but was a mixture of enforcement(by my sister), encouragement (by a friend) and long standing emotional blackmail(by mom). So I thought this one visit will be a multipurpose one so why not?

On a serious note, now that I was at that holy place, I took the opportunity for the conversation with the abstract power and shared my requests, thanks and wishes for myself, family and some special friends at the same time strength for accepting all that is granted of it as it is. They call it Bhana.

Later had Langar and a quick return.

Anyways, enjoyed the 20 KM ride up and down as well.

With millions of candles lit up on the Birthday of Sri Gur Nanak Dev Ji across the globe, I hope some of us will be blessed with the divine halo of the Almighty's infinite glow and lead ourselves closer to sanity, wisdom and contentment that the world is missing these days.

One person enlightened spells many a dozen at peace.

May the light prevail. Good Night.

Satgur Nanak Pargateya

The agenda of the day was to re-install the PC but 4 hr long power failure forced me to preempt the task to other chores.

One of these was to get the bike washed. There I witnessed that how much the 'Chalta Hai' attitude has been fused with our thought process. The guy was overhauling Yamaha RX-100. Some of you may know that it is needed to rub the piston in the sleeve manually for sometime if the piston is too tight (happens when installing vendor parts). It is totally acceptable and as per my knowledge the mechanic has to use the actual connecting rod to do the thing along with a rubbing compound with rated grains (average size of abrasive particles). look for the images of these keywords on google if the jargon seems to go over your head. :)

But my genius mechanic was using a spanner on the piston rod (instead of connecting rod). Now that there is no bearing, the spanner must be scratching the piston rod. Icing on the cake was that he was using sand as an abrasive!!! Yes three exclamation marks there are absolutely justified. I would spoil a meter of cotton cloth to keep the sand away from my work area all the time.
Here, just have a look:
The sand was coming from the pavement! On asking he said "What else are abrasives made of? Sand it is sir!"

I would better stick to only washing from this guy, at least he would not have to touch any screws on mine.

At the most this RX-100 was going to suffer a shorter lifespan and a few hundred bucks wasted.
But, someone with such an attitude would have been callous about the connection at the pipeline in Jaipur causing so much trouble to the nation, earth and some unlucky people as well.

Evening was also as enlightening, while returning from gym after a great abdominal workout, out of nowhere, hundreds of 'Sikh Sangat' flocked on the roads, clearing the roads of all the debris with brooms. The gentlemen, womenfolk all elite and humble were helping selflessly to make sure the roads are as clean as possible to the arrival of the 'Palki' of the holy Granth.

A procession was on the way to a Gurdwara nearby. I wondered whether all of this is necessary at all? Many stalls of various kinds of refreshments were distributing sweets and contributing to the use and throw tumblers and dishes that were already seeming like snow on both sides of the roads after being sweeped by Sangat.

Half an hour in and they will wrap up the tents and move to their homes leaving the road looking like the aftermath of a county fair.

Lots of crackers being fired, I wonder if Guru Nanak Dev Ji would have advocated such a devotion from his disciples. Won't he know that the people who were sweeping the road were only concerned about this half an hour and after the procession passes away, it would be the govt servants that will clean the whole mess away. Not to mention stray dogs as well that were already pecking at the uneaten sweets thrown by some overeaten Bhaghat.

It will need Guru Nanak Dev Ji to be reborn and reiterate all that he preached earlier to put people on the right track of devotion. GOD is not so stupid that he can be fooled by our momentarily display of devotion whenever we enter a holy shrine or pass in front of one. He will only bless a person who remembers him as all pervading like the sunlight, like the power that knows you are going to commit a ill-deed even before you do it.

Wherever he goes, whatever he does, even while repairing a faulty pipeline!

We are all much much far away from that day yet.

EOW!!

Means end of week.
Free from a sprint of tasks at the office and free for thinking for the weekend schedules.

Well, the week is over but the day ain't. Bought a new hard drive today and amazingly got almost 30 % larger drive at 200 Rs lesser than what I bought just 4 months ago!! I wonder what Mr. Moore was thinking when he proposed that law.

But for some reason the retailer was selling me a PATA instead of SATA saying that it is more stable and last longer (maybe trying to scare me because I had to buy this new one because the older one is developing flaws already) but when I returned home, and googled a bit, I found that the PATA are not selling because the systems are moving in to SATA technology and they are costlier merely because they are hard to find. Legacy systems still need them and few companies manufacture them as a mainstream product.

Conclusion: It was a good decision to drop the offer of a PATA drive (Which was costlier by almost 50% and I would have gotten half the space for same price).

Now what? got to prepare a checklist of files and folder to backup, keep the drivers handy and reinstall my system with the brand bew 350G Hdd :) Hope this one lasts longer than last one.

Good Night :)

Is time really money?

Well, the day today was pretty hectic! The office stuff was tough on my sprained back! But you cannot use this as an excuse there when they offer you to stay home when your body seems to need more attention. The back will be fine by morning. So will be the builds that I triggered before leaving office, hope so:)

However as they say, all's well that ends well. The day went well and in the end provided one good message as well before passing away completely.

As I was returning from a hangout at 17 with some of my former colleagues and friends, I heard a loud screech of tires at one of the intersections at around 9:30 PM. Pretty common occurrence in a city like Chandigarh (not a big city but a city full of impatient commuters who are brave enough to put their (and others') life at stake for a mere 2-3 seconds of time). Who says Indians don't respect time?

We will try to save 5 seconds by jumping the red in the last moments when it is already almost over. Also, we are pretty much thoughful when we try to save a whole lots of seconds when we speed into the already curious-to-save-time traffic in the yellow before it gets red.

The real problem begins when two guys try to save their seconds at the same time!! That was the case when the above situation happened! So the moral of the story is...

Wait till the last second for the green and never try to outsmart a yellow one. Someone else may be trying to save time at the same time you are!!

Drive safe. Good Night