Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Greetings and Resolutions

So the year is about to change. Yet again.

To an astronomer, it is another revolution of a planet around its star. Lets take an imaginary spaceship and fly a few million kilometers away from our planet waving it good bye for a while.

What do you see?

A speck of dust sized planet revolving around one of the zillions of stars in the universe since millions of years before the first calendar ever came to be known.

And here we are, a vegetation inhabiting the crust of this speck-of-dust of a planet since a few thousand years. Quite insignificant if we talk relative to the time Universe has been around. The whole human civilization and its creations weighing a millionth of a percent of total weight of this planet put together or lesser still! .On this speck-of-dust of a planet.

And here we are again, a civilization celebrating such an insignificant event in the cosmos!

Earth revolves around the sun every year. It passes every point around the sun exactly once every year. Every day occurs once every year. So why give this one evening all the credit? Every single day deserves to be celebrated. Every single day we should resolve to something new. Every single day we should greet everyone with the cheer and zeal that ordinarily lasts only one evening.

We resolve to do unique stuff to ourselves and the community every year. And we forget before the first week ends. Its an old story.

Lets change the storyline a bit this one time. Lets resolve to something new this year. Lets resolve to not to forget the resolutions. To recall all the previous forgotten self-promises and then realize them with rejuvenated commitment throughout the year. Lets remind this resolution to ourselves every day of the coming year as each day is a new year as the Earth crosses a new cosmic location each day. Lets set on a wholesome transformation of the self as we live on through 2010.

My resolutions? As I said, a successful year is the one when you come out wiser and abler than the previous one, I am relying on the destiny and its decision to carry me to newer situations, events and locations and enrich me with new experiences and knowledge, hoping to come out still abler and wiser in yet another year.

I will also continue loving those I love and missing those I miss. Continue to be a person that I am keen to meet every morning in the mirror. Continue to stop at light traffic signals when red. Continue sending those small messages to the people for whom, I know, they matter so much.

And if you believe in once a year celebrations, I wish to you the most enjoyable and ecstatic new year celebrations and may you be blessed with strength to carry out your resolutions with steel reinforced commitment and overflowing enthusiasm.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

A normal day?

Actually yes. A pretty normal day, usual fun filled office with another Snax Meeting that ignited imaginative discussions ranging from how milk can be adulterated to how many times someone has been pick-pocketed in the capital city. Unusual for your office day? Okay, feel free to feel jealous. ;-)

An evening visit to a close friend happened to be a nice guide into my financial plans though as I already said that I have a master-plan now but when it is your own plan, an option is always available to alter its goals. So I am considering some alterations now. Lets see which puddle appears before me on this new way.

Except from a puppy accompanying me during my post-dinner walk, who's short few month's experience of the human civilization still held humans in his good books, there was no other special happening along the way. I wished I had a piece of bread to offer to the little wagtail creature and help fortify his belief in humans being good to stray dogs. The other lot of the adult night guards stayed away from me as they were more experienced. :)

By the way, a group of my colleagues is planning to go movieing tomorrow. Let us see if the plan materializes.

Good Night :)

Monday, December 28, 2009

The world is a stage

A and B both went into an unfortunate situation from where they cannot come out. B thinks she was put into such a situation by a mistake on part of C whereas it was not so. A never knew C and thinks that the situation was as ill luck would have been. B broke up her contacts with C and wont listen to her anymore.

A meets C, C rescues A from the situation. B still hates C while A is thankful to C.

C helped D, E, F as well but still regrets why B wont understand. All A, D, E, F are all praises for C but C won't acknowledge them because she was hurt by the incident with B and is apprehensive that same may happen again.


C lives a lonely life. B trusts no one anymore.


Who is at fault? No one. Still both are suffering.

What should they do?
Wait?
Forget?
Talk?

Who are you? A, B or C?

A character in the play of life.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Weekend # -1 to 2010

Last three-day-long weekend of the year has begun and I am not making any special efforts to make the better out of it. Even if it is Christmas for rest of the world, I have not been brought up to cheer around Christmas holidays. For me they hold as much significance to me as any other festive holiday. This one fell on a weekend, providing me additional luxury of living three successive days without office. Lest the reader concludes that I am sick of Office, let me make it clear that it is a good time to relax our spinal cords.

Guys at office had dropped in an offer for extra work on these days. Participation being on voluntary basis, I preferred staying back. However it was worth a couple of K Indian bucks. Missing them now :)

To me, all the weekends are the same and mostly consist of the same chores and errands focused around making the next week an easy effort. What a beautiful way to say that I have to do laundry, go grocery-ing and oversleep to achieve the alertness and watch pirated movies downloaded over the week. Yes sue me for that. :)

So I spent it just the way I said. Additionally, as I mentioned a few days ago that I am into reading, this time Chetan Bhagat's "Five point someone" was my weekend date. Once begun, it was hard to stop. So I was all through it in two sittings flat. The first one cannot be precisely called a "sitting" as I was reading it in my bed till quarter to 2 am! The crazy things that happen when three engineers are not thinking straight kept me going on. Quite entertaining.

That apart. These few days before the calender year's unit's place's digit moves to its successor is a good time to retrospect on how we did spend the previous 365 and also contemplate the next 365 yet to come.

That I am doing right now. Looking back, its all seems to be fine. Rather a successful year I would say. Had mostly positive news all the way till this last week. Coming up wiser and abler year after year is what I would term as a successful living and this one has not only allowed me to groom on one but many aspects of myself. Thanks (God).

Moving forward, I would not say that I have a plan for the next year. Past few ones have taught me that the word "plan" is a fiction. So I have a master-plan now :)

No kidding. That means I don't know exactly where I am to put the next foot. That, I decide based on the fact where the puddle is as I move along the way. But I have a fair outline of my destination where I should be heading. And mind you, this destination is not a state of mind that I can attain after making true a wish list that needs a bloated Debit Card to realize. This master-plan holds much more than that. Many an abstract achievements for which I have to look forward to some other powers than my own efforts. I hope you get the point.

Tomorrow, the regular Sunday as I mentioned :)

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

A thing of achievement is a joy for ever

Just 5 minutes before I was about to leave for the UT, a postman brought a cool news. That was really an odd time for a postman to appear at the door as it was almost at the time when twilight was giving way to the night. Must have been the nature's way of cheering me up for the day. And so I was done. Cheered. :)

What the postman has brought me is just a token of my knowledge that I have gained till now. And I am glad to have it on a certified piece of paper to tell the world. Sure I am elated to have it.

We share such small happy moments in life and try to double and triple the joy of the same. That sure does help and the moment of joy lasts longer and the fun is indeed doubled and tripled. At the same time, it is not random group of people that we wish to share the moments with. We share with the people we really care for. And with the people that we know they really care for us. The people that we know would be happy to know about the good change.

We also feel bad about not being able to share with those who are close to us. Because friends who are so far away that we cannot be in the moment as it is happening, face to face to share the moment, the essence of the moment goes missing. Only conversations over phone are not enough to express all the expressions of the joy and feel its presence at the same time. The presence of those few close ones is felt very badly on these moments.

Again as humans, we get used to small conveniences really soon. Not even 48 hours have gone by that I am (re) evaluating myself and weighing my old self against the new me-with this little virtue now added. I consider this a small achievement as compared to what I wish to achieve in life. But I am still trying to strain this small, newly gained virtue of mine and analyzing the possibilities of any gains from it. How selfish! But I am justified here for many reasons I know to be true.

The quest for more continues...
Good Night

The Recursive Vortex

I said I had an agenda for Sunday. That was true, but the it was mostly errands around the home and I was again free to do whatever I like the most. But when you are home and it is a weekend all you love to do is to pamper yourself with the comfort of aum sweet aum.

Did some landscaping, dressed the trees (there are two Neems and a Guava) for the coming months so that the new shoots flow in the correct direction without support or anchors.

But by the time night fell, I was not in a mood to leave for Chandigarh mainly because my body has been hinting of an upset lately. So decided to stay back.

Its not that my Mondays are not in the same league as Tom's so the reader should not assume that it has been a 'Tommy me' that had stayed back. What is needed is needed. We have to use the body for the whole week so due rest is required.

A surprise visit by my maternal grandfather on Monday happened to be the day's gift. The old man is very jovial even at this age with so many ailments that he is going through. That is the kind of spirit that keeps us carry on. If we tend to stop and grieve what the time will inevitably bring upon us, it will be all the more difficult to live on even a day.

On the contrary, humans are, after all, humans. They tend to waver about their feelings and the emotions take a sine wave route for most of us, staying in one phase and then diving into the other and then back up. The Recursive thoughts never seize as if they are glued to the focus of a Vortex. Always forcing us to oscillate in those few states of mind all along our lives. As we live on...

Think!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Ad hoc

At home town Jalandhar to see dad and cheer him up a little.
Good to have this old PC set up and running by my younger bro with configuration? Don't ask. but this seven years old keyboard has already had my fingers aching. So this post is probably going to be a short one :)

Travel started immediately after the EOD Friday and like all times these days, my current read has been my companion. Travels are the most rewarding experiences, be it from point A to point B in geographic senses or be they two points on the timeline of life. We always come across some moments that go by providing us with a small bit of wisdom to preserve. This one also not less fruitful.

On the seat on my front was a small happy family traveling from Simla to a destination beyond mine. Three children, a mostly quit boy, a teenage girl and another 12 year old girl of which I came to know when the ticket collector came to inquire the age.

What made the moment so beautiful was that the sheer innocence of the age. Without having concern of anyone watching and listening to their conversation, the teens were engaged in childish gossip all the way remarking at every eye-catching scene passing by on the road. Be it a fat man at a bus stop, or a tractor-trolly loaded with sugarcane. For natives it is usual and most adults who see a thing at first suppress the expression of surprise. But here, in these girls, this diplomacy had not yet developed. Singing to someone else's mobile phone, laughing aloud the band entertained quite a few passengers around them that seemed to share my taste.

I wish we all can be that innocent at all the times of our lives never having to care for any one Else when we had to do, say, or act like what the kid inside us urges us to.

Well, most of the Saturday went away treating myself to the warm sun and food made by Mom. I have a small agenda for Sunday.

Okay! Its the call for dinner!!

As I am using a snail-paced dial-up, I don't have much patience to use it till Monday when I have my own broadband and thankfully-the keyboard !

See ya then. Good night.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Not the usual office meeting

As a part of team building activities, our management has organized small group discussions aptly named "Snax meeting" as they happen to be accompanied by a small feast sponsored by a pretty harmless contribution from the participants themselves.

The usual discussions are fun filled but the last one a day before went on a bit spiritual note when of the participants asked to put forth our views about the past life regression.

The conclusions drawn out were very thoughtful.

My observation was that we all are living and in due course we get to gather some good and bad experiences. We easily assume credit for the good ones but we need an anchor for the the bad experiences or for the pain that we endured. Hence, different people assume different mediums to dump their resentment or to find solace based on some belief.

Past life regression seems to be one such belief. Where we can attribute all the happenings around us to our past life. No one has seen or has an account of what he/she had done in the past. This opens a channel to attribute our failures to our deeds of the past. Also the success of, in our opinion, undeserving people in case we are one of the envious types.

Personally, I opined that the we are being guided by not the past life but a set of random probabilistic functions in play in the universe that put us in one situation or the other. These random events make some of us more privileged in one trait or the other. On the same notes, I have tried to make a point here as well.

Still much more to learn from the seniors. But rarely you get an opportunity for such discussions in the professional Bhaag Daud!

Chao!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Weekend # Third from the last de 2009

It has been long time, as far as my memory is concerned, since I last logged on to this blog and now as I sit recalling what were the last three days like, some of it is definitely gonna miss.

The weekend was not a happy one as my father and my maternal grandfather, both were unwell. Most of the weekend was spent in my father's nursing during the day while my sister painstakingly took care of him at night. Saturday, I went off to see my grandfather. The good thing is that both are now doing fine.

In a bid to keep my house of the devil busy and occupied, so that no physician prescribes me Alprazolam anymore, I have now started reading while idle. So while traveling earlier, I used to ponder about the goods and the bads that have and may happen in my life, I now am conversing with the most learned men of the world through their thoughtful writings in form of one or the other book. The three and a half hours pass away in a fraction of a moment now! leaving no time at my mind's disposal to play with my hormones. I am sure going to throw in some technical and fictional material also sooner. If the habit stays, sure its gonna help a lot.

Being at my maternal village also brought about a sense of conservative living and how the resources can be best utilized. Even the traditional stove was using fallen leaves, collected over time from the trees in the compound, as a fuel. Saving wood-the principal fuel.

Walking around the place keeps most people healthy and no need of disinfectants when the floor is mud itself. That also seems to reinforce immunity in rural population by providing a constant dose of stimuli to the immune system and keeping the body's defense ready for a major assault!

Another striking thing was the sense of cleanliness and order that was ambient everywhere. From the firewood storage area to the shelves that were covered with glossy sheets from an old magazine and had many tiny containers, meticulously arranged on top of the paper sheets, in the order of frequency of use for ease of fetching them. Even though there was no sleek furniture or contoured interiors. Still everything seemed to be residing at its own designated place as if they have been there from centuries, but as clean and fresh as if someone has just placed them there. These observations are what reflect the virtue of the lady of the home. However humble be her education, she must has been taught the common sense of a homemaker by her elders during her upbringing.

The mild scent of fresh roses in the kitchen garden was intoxicating.
100% organically cultivated vegetables from the kitchen garden, free of pesticides that all of us more civilized generation are consuming everyday, are used to make some of the share of daily meals. The same also spare us from the steroid accelerated vegetable cultivation in practice in farms supplying veggies to the cities.

Someone sure has got all the time and attention for maintaining the kitchen garden and maintain those shelves apart from other chores. That be my grandmother's daughter in law.

A sense of emergency and rush that keeps on haunting us in the cities is absent in the countryside. While this brings in a sense of relief, after some time the same absence makes you feel as if you are missing on something important. As if we are living a lesser life every moment while not in that busy part of the world. That feeling was not able to set in this time as I had to leave early to see to my father at home for a CT. I left for home again with others that were there to see my grandfather.

As I mentioned that now I always have a read in my hand while traveling (and also when idle at home), my current one My experiments with truth by Mahatma Gandhi sure got some glares both while the up and down journeys. Some frowned. Some grinned. Some appreciated. Some ignored. Some went a step further and asked my reasons behind the choice. To which I replied that it is an effort to understand both the extremist (I have read Shaheed Sukhdev's Biography by his brother) and the non-violent approaches to the independence struggle. This thought had some role in convincing me to purchase Mahatma's autobiography. And if I could not make out much of the non-violence out of the book, I will have a set of real experiences of an accomplished person of the millennium to read about, something that is sure promising of interest, was my other thought.

Ending this one abruptly here!
Good Night :-)

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Zombie dayz

Fell on the bed as soon as I returned from the office. Woke up at 11 PM, had dinner and fell asleep again after a while of routine activities.

That was yesterday.

Found the world turning around and head about to explode today morning. Alarm had been trying its best for the last three quarters of an hour. Thought that it would be best to seek some help to get my battery recharged.

The doc suggested some alprazolam for 5 days. What the heck! I am not going to have this. I'm not. Threw the strip away and went to the office.

Work leads to solace and sanity.

Although still a bit confused about whats going on around me. (and inside me is also rumbling sometimes:-) ) but still in a position to live out the next few days without much efforts. Till Friday arrives to offer me a free recharge.

(Disclaimer: There's more than what has been just said.)

Good Night...Rumble!!..excuse me ;-)

Monday, December 7, 2009

A thing of patriotism?

Day was work as usual. Monday's rush as usual. Office as usual. Returning to home..hold on, not as usual!

A moment that lasted only 7-8 seconds made the whole day day count!

We all await many minutes on the way on traffic lights but as I mentioned here, the last few seconds at a traffic stop are something that are hard to be patient for most of us...just independent, still developing, citizens.

And this traffic light on the way to Information Technology Park is like a dog tied outside a post-office. Who has to look up and make a meekly sound to get anyone's attention; if at all. :-)

But this one time when I approached it a few commuters were already lined up waiting for the last 10 seconds.

8...

7...

6...

The traffic clock counting down to the Green one. By this time few would already be halfway down the crossing, in the road, hindered only by the oncoming traffic to jump the Red one.

But no one was moving! Even when all the traffic from the other side has already crossed. Such patience? Could be a coincidence.

5...

4...

3...

By this time they would start honking. Urging the ones at the front-line to forgo the constitution that says, "Red means stop" and just go! But today, here, it was silence broken only by humming of a car engine and rhythmic thumps of an auto-rickshaw a bit farther away.

2...

Still no one's moving, its getting me now. No oncoming traffic, no cops in view, still no honking, no one's creeping forward!! Amazing example of discipline.

1...

Green!!!

A Skoda, an Activa, an Auto, few bikes including mine moved forward and then off to their respective routes. Silently engines revving faster, gears shifting.

If I draw a correct analogy, the last 5 seconds were akin to a patriotic group of citizens standing for a national anthem. What other than respect for law was holding all of us there?

All of know that obeying law is prime evidence of the fact that one respects the nation that we live in. That we call ours, that we defend in online discussions and that we enjoy the freedom of. Only difference is that now we recognize the acceptance that was dormant inside us. This, I would say is a fundamental change happening. The more we obey law, the more we would like it to be acted upon. This would ultimately lead all corruption and all corrupt to be brought to justice.

Small gestures like obeying Red light, leaving off plastic bags willingly, asking for invoice and paying sale tax are indicators of the change that will make us a world power.

I think I witnessed a small moment of that big change today.

Think!
Good Night

Sunday, December 6, 2009

"Religious Fuss Express": From Jalandhar to Ludhiana:

Picked up the newspaper this morning to be greeted with the gloomy news of communal tension in the industrial hub of Punjab. Immediately I remembered how many of my close ones were stuck in the riots in Jalandhar few months back.

Again, agenda was same, the hot favorite: Religion.

Religion seems to be the favorite topic of us Indians to create a fuss upon. We seek religious excuses to get together, to rejoice and most of all to create a fuss the examples of which we have witnessed in the recent times as well as the past(1947, 1984, Godhra, Babri Masjid etc).

Talking of the Sikh community, I wonder what has made our (Sikhs') faith in their faith so vulnerable so that we have to defend it with veined swords every now and then?

An X, Y, Z person makes some remarks and we get together to teach a lesson forgetting completely the lessons that our Sikh gurus have taught us since Guru Nanak Dev ji.

How can we forget that Guru Nanak Dev Ji blessed the people who threw stones at them leaving his accompanists, Bala and Mardana, wondering?

Can we forget how when Sri Guru Amar Dass Ji responsed when he was kicked off his seating position by a person in front of everyone claiming his Gurgaddi? He had asked him if he was hurt by his old and seasoned bones.

How he responded to the person who made fun of his long saintly beard? By saying that it is to wipe the feet of holy people like yours.

Why Guru Ram Dass ji had doors on all the sides of the Golden Temple? So that people of all the religions may be welcome to the holy place. So that Sikhism may coexist with every other religion through mutual respect for each other.

Did the Sikhs at that time created such a scene as yesterday when Guru Arjun Dev ji was punished with hot Tava and red-hot sand from above for no offense of his?

Does anyone remember that the 5 beloveds from the 5 different Hindu casts?

Every single day in the millions of Gurdwaras and homes, the holy Ardaas is recited. An excerpt:

"Sikhaan da man neevaan matt uchhi, mat pat da raakha aap Waheguru" which means "
Bless your sikhs with a humble mind and high moral thought. You yourself protect their morality and respect

The recent acts do not reflect anything of that sort. Has the Guru stopped bestowing morality and humility on his Sikhs?

What if a saint says a few words against your religion? Someone who does not knows about a principle will either try to learn about it or discard it based on his own reasoning and sense of understanding. I think we are here to brace the core teachings of all the religions and not judge them on the basis of someone Else's remarks.

What if someone dresses like Dashamesh Pita, Guru Gobind Singh ji? Did he become one? How are they sure Guru Ji looked or dressed that way? Do we have any painting of that era on record? I am not sure that how the paintings made by an artist come to be known as immortal images of the Gurus. By following those images we are ourselves insulting them as they are definitely imagination of someone and not a real image of the Gurus. The real image that Guru ji would like us to follow are the teachings enlisted in the Granth.

It is clearly inscribed in Sukhmani Sahib that anyone denouncing a saint will be put to shame and punished by the Akal Purakh himself.

So if Ahutosh Maharaj has said something that has insulted any of the Sikh faiths, he has already registered himself for the punishment of theAkal Purakh. So has the Dera saint who dressed up as Guru Sahib.

Why we all have to pick up swords in the broad daylight and instill terror and rage for the people in the communities from other faiths and establish ourselves as a fragile and raging community rather than humble and sturdy one.

Does these puny acts of these persons hold the strength to uproot Sikh faith? I would laugh if someone says yes to that. And if they do, I think we do not need to call ourselves Sikhs anymore. With such a fragile faith, we are better off as lunatics who have no sense of civilization altogether.

Burning property of fellow Indians, shouting against other faiths wont even get anyone to listen to our genuine issues. These situations are best handled through peaceful display of remorse. Ahutosh Maharaj's words must be on record. There is law, take them to court. Instead, now we are the ones to testify our acts of disrupting public life, insulting another faith and spoiling property. While they hold the distinction of being oppressed by Sikh faith.

So great is the contribution of the various Sikh religious heads that encouraged all this. Rather than asking the fellow sikhs to stay calm and practice humility and patience that the Gurus have been teaching us all the way. They were silently watching the foolish people face the bullet under a false impression that they were protecting the faith.

Who stands accountable for Darshan Singh who died on the spot? Will these religions leaders who sat in comfort while random people were being beaten by the police sticks?

But I know there are millions of people in all the communities that know that the core of all the religious beliefs is the same. That all have both stemmed from the same divine halo. That we all are children of same GOD. That insulting one of us is like insulting ourselves only.

It is the undying faith of these people that is holding the country and the world together since the times of Ramayana and Mahabharata.

May Peace prevail.
Good Night.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Forgotten Instinct

Dear Instinct,
You are the one that I was talking to here. I promised to pay you some attention yesterday but you know I was too busy figuring out my schedules that I could not offer you the fair share of attention that you so rightfully deserve.

Apologies for the same. I hope you understand that every one of my efforts is directs by you so if I am not able to listen to you for a day, does not mean that my commitment towards you is growing any weaker.

Today is Friday and I hope that I have been up to your expectations today. I will not mention "how" again as you were already there pushing me harder and harder all the time. Thanks for this encouragement.

Regarding our pending discussion, I will sure find time for the same. For now, I have to go to sleep so that I my see you happy yet again. Please stay like this always.

Good Night.

Yours,
Akashdeep

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Tue Wed Thu

That's all that a calender knows about half of my week. For the calender, they are merely three days of a week that it has been repeating ever since time came into existence. Not a big deal.

For me they were anything but fair. Overriding my instinct to be at the office to help out the team with extra workload (a rare one though) and running off the ISBT only to add to my knowledge the fact that I was about to be grounded for 5 hours in a PRTC bus was enough help to make me hungry by anticipation well ahead of my normal schedule!

Enough hungry, pretty much tired and drowsy from the routine onset of sleep, it was still harder to look cheerful. I was entering a house full of colorful guests and faces that just had dinner after a bout of dance. Already 1:30, we were to get up at 7 to prepare for the marriage ceremony. I hope I was at least able to look sober in the morning and not beaten up blue by fatigue of the previous night.

The surroundings at a function cheer you up and fill you with a joy to be a part of the celebration. I was no exception. The day went into being a part of-and witnessing various rituals. I had a headache by then! What the heck! How do I get back to office tomorrow? Preemted the ceremonies only to learn that the bus will be available only after 7:30 PM. Another ordeal in the bus was awaiting me!

A grand marriage ceremony though it was. All marriage functions end with everyone seeing the bride off to the groom's family with tear-soaked eyes. No one can escape the grief and sorrow that that one moment instills into the air. Everyone is aware that the lady in red is going off for a new step in her life and that many festivals and happy moments are about to follow but the grey haired fairies won't stop chanting those folk lores repeating them over and over again till there are sobs to be heard from all around. The moment sort of reconnects everyone. To each other. To their pasts and some to their futures.

Back to the bus, this one was generous enough to allow passengers have a breath of fresh air. However, it was ignorant enough too to know that it was December already! Well, life is like that sometimes...

Another great news was that I did not had the keys to the room! Reaching the room at 12:30 AM, how I managed to get the main door opened and enter my bedroom will remain a secret for ever :-)

I was not in a position to wish anyone good night...
Yawwwnnnn....
Z
Z
z
z
!